Do try this at work #3: Brain-friendly Feedback
Feedback
Regular feedback is one of the tools that teams need most. It’s a shortcut to improvement and better collaboration. Done well, feedback will help your colleagues, your team and your organisation. And receiving feedback about the impact you’re having on other people is a huge (often untapped) source of personal growth.
We are all better off if we understand our impact on others.
We can view it as ‘guidance’ rather than the dreaded ‘F-word’ - do more of this / less of that to be an even better colleague 😊 Helpful right? Yet still scary and incredibly challenging! And that’s why it is something that most of us struggle to do - because saying difficult things well is really, really hard! So we avoid it. So we’ve not practised a whole lot (just once or twice a year in many organisations), so we’re a bit rubbish at it. What else are you good at that you only do once or twice a year?
Luckily for us, cognitive psychologist LeeAnn Renninger has produced a wonderful five minute TED Talk about the secret of giving great feedback. LeeAnn offers a four-part formula and I’ve added an extra step at the beginning for good measure.
Brain-friendly feedback - the steps
Intention: check your intention - are you motivated by an intention to help?
Is it for their benefit? If not, discard it! Or, make it helpful by adjusting your intentions.
Never feedback if you are kicking someone in the shin - it hurts!
This is a golden rule 🥇
Permission: give your colleagues' brains a heads up that feedback is coming by asking them if you can give them some feedback. For example:
‘Do you have some time to talk about how that conversation / meeting / project went?’
‘I have some ideas for how we can improve things, can I share them with you?’
‘Can I give you some feedback / reflections about ... ?’
Warning: only asking ‘can I give you some feedback?’ is vague and can trigger fear in our nervous system as we wonder what it will be about.
Specific: be really specific, using only data and facts.
What happened or did not happen? What did you see or hear? This must be factual. It cannot be opinion 🚫
For example, ‘You said you’d send me the report by yesterdays deadline and I still don’t have it’
So something that your colleague cannot disagree with.
Impact: then explain how #3 impacted on you. For example:
‘Because I didn’t get the report on time I got a hard time from the client’
Or, ‘by getting the report to me early I was able to send it to the client ahead of schedule and they’re really pleased with us!’
Be sure the link between the feedback and impact is clear and logical; this will help your feedback to land.
Check: have a conversation to see how your feedback landed.
Ask them: How do you see it? What are your thoughts?
Then listen to their response, have a conversation, and be patient.
It can take a little while for the penny to drop and for others to see your point of view, especially with constructive feedback.
Remember, you could be wrong, so be sure to be humble!
Feedback tips
*Only ever offer feedback if you are motivated by an intention to help.
Creating a feedback culture takes a lot of effort and you’ll only get there with continued collective practice.
Start with giving positive feedback (paint a picture of what's good) and by inviting constructive feedback (paint me a picture of what could be better).
Make a habit of regularly inviting feedback from your team, every Friday lunch for example. You can set a calendar reminder.
90% of communication is nonverbal, so default to feedback in person (or video) and avoid written feedback unless you know that it’s their preference.
Good feedback isn’t about what you say, it’s about what other people hear.
Prepare beforehand.
State your intent (to help) before you feedback.
Don’t be parental or treat people as fragile, treat them as adults.
Be frank and courageous.
Keep the message delivery concise.
Never criticise in public (it hurts!).
When you receive it, say thank you! Appreciate that someone has been brave enough to give you feedback.
Remember that feedback can be positive! (Do more of this).
The brain-friendly feedback video
I suggest watching this video together with your team. You can do this using the wonderful Butter (and then never use Teams or Zoom again! 🤞).
Next steps
Share this newsletter with your team.
Invite feedback at least once (ideally twice) before this time next week.
Offer appreciative feedback at least once (ideally twice) before this time next week.
Offer constructive feedback to one person before this time next week.
Watch the five-minute brain-friendly feedback video at your next team meeting ☝️
Further resources
If you’d like to dig deeper and become awesome at giving and receiving feedback then check out my favourite feedback resources.
Good luck!
Mark Eddleston